I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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