The maid of honor just puked.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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