One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
