Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
