Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
