Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
