I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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