Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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