Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
