Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
