You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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