dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My penis needs a shock collar
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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