forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize