listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
