ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

  Fav 12 1294 3036

  share tweet
  

• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.

  Fav 7 4761 959

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

  Fav 49 3516 5500

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.

  Fav 13 4262 1319

  share tweet
  

• (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

  Fav 13 3225 1471

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.

  Fav 11 2510 1533

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (765): View more from Indiana

  We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...

  Fav 4 2319 919

  share tweet
  

• (+35): View more from

  I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act

  Fav 5 1186 743

  share tweet
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.

  Fav 6 2166 1052

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

  Fav 2 1646 624

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

  Fav 3 819 563

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos

  Fav 0 376 563

  share tweet
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.

  Fav 6 1147 389

  share tweet
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.

  Fav 6 46 100

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO

  Fav 0 20 41

  share tweet
  

Randomize