sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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