If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
