Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
