So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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