I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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