sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize