i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
