Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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