she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They took my balls.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
