i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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