He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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