Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
