Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize