You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
