We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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