Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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