I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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