I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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