Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
