well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you had me at cake vodka
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
