FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
