chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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