you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Acid is not a monday night drug
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
