my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
