i permit you to call me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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