plz talk dirty to me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
