I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
