I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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