this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
