I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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