In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize