Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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