ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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