Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
