I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
