i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
