Whod you bang
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
