I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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