Soap is not a condiment
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
