He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
