The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
