Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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