i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
