I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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