we have officially lost it.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
