I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
