Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
