I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
