question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
